HAPPY BIRTHDAY
This is a big week. I turned 60! I never thought this day would come. I can never say I am young now...or even middle-aged. I think I am officially old. I'm not ancient or decrepit, but definitely old. I have very young grandchildren for my age (an almost 3 year old and 2 due in May--a boy and a girl). That is why we weren't able to have a family celebration together (which I would have loved). With daughters living far away (seattle, WA and waco, TX) and in the late stages of pregnancies and our oldest daughter just back at her home in kiev, ukraine, no long term friends (we have only lived here 2 years), it made for some sad aspects to turning 60. I think that at this time in my life, my family, old friends and familiar surroundings are most appreciated.
Evidently, God thought I needed both a change in venue and a change in attitude. He picked us up from Tyler, TX 2 years ago and moved us here. I know this is where He wants us to be but there have been times that living with that has been difficult.
At a recent seminar we attended, it was underlined once again for me that at times of anger or extreme sadness with what God's will is for me now, i have to look at where my heart is. Am I worshipping Him first or am I worshipping another idol made in the idol factory of my heart? Some of my personal idols are: staying where I am when I finally find my niche in a given church body, being as close as i can (geographically) be to my family, having some good, long-term friends who will tell me the truth, not what i want to hear. Instead, I need to be spending more time with God alone instead of with all the other accoutrements that are good, but that I often substitute for God. Obviously, my idols are not bad things by themselves, except that they keep me from worshiping the one true God wholeheartedly.
There is no one here that I know from before in my life: no relatives, friends, friends of friends or family. it is just us. The winters have been long and cold. As with any church, there is always someone who is there to say words that are discouraging and disheartening. Fortunately, there are also those (and more of them) who are encouraging and uplifting in their words and actions. Two years have passed, we have made new friendships and relationships. I'm learning how to survive winters and grow tulips. God is good. Joy comes after mourning. Just as we look forward to spring in this part of the country, I look forward to this new stage of my life and what I will learn in my walk of faith both with God alone and in community with my fellow believers in my church.